“… so, let me get this straight. It’s about a ring. Jewelry.”
“Not JUST jewelry. It circles around The One Ring. It was forged in the molten, volcanic bowels of Mt. Doom, otherwise known as Orodruin or Amon Amarth, by the Dark Lord Sauron. He started his scheme to dominate and bend the peoples of Eä to his will by binding his spirit to and forging-”
“Wait, who the Hell is Sauron?”
“Sauron is among the most prominent of the Maiar that eventually fell and joined Morgoth and departed into the Dark.
“And Morgoth? Allmother above, your syllables are disgusting.”
“Gee, thanks. Morgoth is among the Valar, who were the original people created by Eru, and are essentially gods. He was the first to fall, and is the origin of chaos, discord, death, and evil.”
“So, back to this ‘sour onion’ guy-”
“SAURON.”
“Yeah, sweet-off. Anyway, he forged an evil golden ring that he bound his soul to in a FUCKING VOLCANO. WHY.”
“World domination. You would have known if you didn’t interrupt me to make fun of my language and the fictional language of Sindarin.”
“You people made up a fucking language to tell a story”
“Yup.”
“Humans.”
Submission by the amazing @bartwelchii!
